Friday, January 23, 2009

She Broke My Heart

Sometimes it's painful to see a woman you love, but you'll never speak to.

From a Friend's Window

It was an overcast Tuesday afternoon. I over at a friend's place when I saw her. I wanted to be anywhere but there, surrounded by those people, my friends. I was hoping that she would take me away from my life. I could drop everything, move into her studio apartment, and we would live together. I imagine her studio is surrounded with fauna. I imagine she has a collection of stuffed animals. I imagine that she paints watercolor poorly. But I don't mind her bad artwork. I find it charming. I look into her eyes and tell her I love it. And she smiles back at me, the most sincere smile I've ever seen. And that's what it's all about. It's her smile that touches my heart, that makes me love her.

Girl with Scarf

Michelle thought about moving to Los Angeles after graduating from UC San Diego, but just couldn't let herself do it. She felt she had a more European sensibility to her, and San Francisco seemed more appropriate instead. She got a job working for a non-profit, and lives with two of her girl friends from college. She rides her bike on the weekends, to the park and back. At night, when she's by herself, Michelle talks to her cats in French. She's a bit alienated by the hipster styles of San Francisco, and feels out of place in Mission, but chooses to live their over the Marina anyway.

I imagine taking her to a foreign film at the Castro Theater, walking arm in arm to a cafe where we both get a glass of wine. I imagine that Michelle would love to tease me, and make fun of the fact that I want to kiss her, but at the end of the night she'd allow it anyway. It wouldn't go anywhere past there though, because Michelle tragically, is too innocent and pure at heart to deal with men of this world. After our date, she'd tell her cat, "Il ├ętait beau. Mais que suis-je trop fait?"